


Office Space

by paranoid_delusional_valkyrie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comedy, F/M, Professor Darcy Lewis, Professor Loki, Some mention of sex, lead up to sexy times - Freeform, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 07:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3521045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranoid_delusional_valkyrie/pseuds/paranoid_delusional_valkyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Political Science professor Darcy Lewis gets a new office mate in the form of Loki Laufeyson, Ph.D. Darcy cannot stand the arrogant professor and must deal with his shenanigans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Darcy Lewis was a Political Science professor at Shield University. She loved her job and liked her students, even if some of them signed up for her general government course just to gawk at her glorious boobs or try to blatantly hit on her during office hours in hopes of boosting their grade. Unfortunately for them, it never worked. But yes, aside from some of the students she loved her job. Usually.

The one colossal thorn that would soon be in her side was the notorious, popular, and purportedly sexy art history professor, Dr. Loki Laufeyson. He was insanely intelligent, ridiculously arrogant, and a huge draw in the world of academia and potential future enrollment. In other words, he brought in a large sum of money to Shield. This was probably the one and only reason that President Fury hadn't kicked Dr. Laufeyson's ass to the curb, he desperately wanted to. Dr. Laufeyson enjoyed going to Fury's office to complain about his "less than pleasant experiences" regarding the supposed state of his office, and how "a professor of his caliber and renown should not be treated in such a way." Even though he probably had one the best offices on campus. Many suspected that Loki did this purely for the entertainment value of watching the vein on Fury's head constantly throb as he tried and just barely managed to keep his temper in check. Dr. Laufeyson was a pain in the ass for Fury and he was about to become one for Darcy Lewis.

With more money coming to Shield, thanks in some part to Dr. Laufeyson, many renovations could be performed and new buildings installed. It was by a "happy coincidence" that President Fury had deemed it necessary for a new Art Building to be erected. So with a truly disturbing grin that even frightened Vice President Coulson, Fury signed the contract for the new Art Building. It would take two years to build, Dr. Laufeyson would have to be relocated from his precious office, and Fury knew exactly where to put him.

Darcy had been less-than-amused when Fury informed her of her incoming officemate. "Dude, you can't be serious."

"I am serious, Lewis, and stop calling me 'Dude.'"

"But Laufeyson sounds like an arrogant douche canoe."

"You don't think I know that, Lewis?!? I've had to deal with that motherfucker coming into my office every goddamn week complaining about some stupid-ass problem in his office. It's a goddamn miracle I haven't killed that cocksucker yet. But now," he said chuckling darkly. "Now I've got that son of a bitch right where I want him." He finished, rubbing his hands together.

"Look is this about that one time I had my class stage a protest in front of the Union?"

"That was you?"

"…Nooooo, I think it was Barton."

"Why would the theater tech professor want to stage a political protest, Lewis?

"Perhaps he was preparing his students for a political play?"

"Lewis, the only production they had that year was My Fair Lady."

"Well that could be seen as a political musical, I think."

"Why are we discussing the motherfucking politics of a musical?"

"I have no idea, dude. Look, I understand your need for petty revenge against Laufeyson, but I don't want to get roped into this."

"What if there were something to sweeten the deal for you?"

Darcy looked at the questionably sane president incredulously. "Are you seriously trying to bribe me?"

"No, Lewis. I'm merely asking you how much it would take to ensure that you wont come knocking on my door each week to complain about your new officemate."

She quirked an eyebrow. "How much are you offering?"

"How much will it take to shut you up?"

An hour later, Darcy walked out of Fury's office with a shit-eating grin while the president grumbled something about all these motherfuckinig professors on this motherfucking campus.

At this point, Darcy thought she could handle anything thrown her way knowing that she had negotiated for a nice pay raise and a hefty chunk of vacation leave that she could use at her leisure. Darcy hadn't double majored in political science and diplomacy for nothing. Yes, Darcy Lewis thought the world was her oyster, but little did she know that an arrogant dick waffle was going to come along and eat the oyster.

One month later...

Darcy sat in her car blaring My Chemical Romance trying to psych herself up. Today she would be meeting the infamous Dr. Loki Laufeyson, and their office sharing times would begin. She had never actually met the man, but she had heard plenty of stories over the years to know that he was rather high on himself, and that was exactly the kind of person with whom she did not want to share her office. _Just think about the nice sum of money and vacation leave you have under your belt. Beach house on the waterfront, beach house on the waterfront._ This had become her mantra for the month leading up to their meeting.

With a heavy sigh, Darcy made her way to her office, not at all eager for what the day could bring. She figured, and hoped, Loki wouldn't be in for awhile since he would probably be overseeing the moving of his office. So it was with a great deal of surprise that Darcy found the back of what looked to be an incredibly handsome, well-dressed man with a really nice ass standing over by the filing cabinets.

 _Maybe this wont be such a bad arrangement after all._ She mused. But those hopes were quickly dashed once he spoke.

"So you're the one residing in this water closet, hmm?" Said the arrogant douche canoe with his back still turned. "Well, I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised considering you've only been working here for four years, and you don't even have a doctorate to your name," the snide bastard continued. Darcy couldn't believe what she was hearing. _You're just full of charm and manners aren't you, Joffrey?_

"Ah, where are my manners?" _They probably realized that you're a pathological asshole child of incest with paranoid delusional tendencies devoid of any nice qualities, and left._ "I'm Dr. Laufeyson, and if I'm not mistaken, you are Miss Darcy Lewis," he said as he turned around and finally looked at her. _So he's ridiculously good looking, but also a dick, great. Don't let this get you down. Be the better person!_

"Yes, I'm Darcy Lewis. Nice to meet you, Professor Laufeyson," she said, extending her hand. Loki merely looked at it.

"I prefer to be addressed as Dr. Laufeyson, Miss Lewis." He said as he sat back down at his desk, seemingly ending the introductions.

Darcy just stood there with her hand still extended trying to comprehend what just happened. _Fuck the beach house on the waterfront, this is going to suck._ And with that sobering thought, Darcy sat at her desk , pulled out her iPod and listened to Steam Powered Giraffe as she tried to ignore the arrogant Dr. Laufeyson.

Little did Darcy know that the esteemed art historian had been eying her the entire morning before he had to go to class. Loki had a smirk the entire time he walked across campus. _This could be rather fun, especially if Miss Lewis continues to wear those form-fitting blouses and tight pencil skirts. I really must thank Thor for recommending her to Fury as an office mate_. He was practically grinning by the time his class began. As he observed how his female students were reacting to his incredibly good mood a rather evil thought crossed his mind.

 _How would Darcy react to some of these students coming to our office and all but throwing themselves at me? Why she would be positively livid, but also quite jealous I'm sure. I saw the way she looked at me this morning. She clearly finds me attractive. By the end of the month I'll have her on my desk screaming my name. This is turning into the perfect situation._ If only the arrogant douche canoe knew how wrong he was.


	2. Chapter 2

Darcy sighed as she checked the time. _Eleven thirty…time to dismiss the class. Great._ She had gotten her class into an intense discussion about filibusters and Wendy Davis and she was having a good time watching her students try not to murder each other as they vehemently gave their opinions on the matter. This was one reason why she didn't want to go back to her office. The second reason had to do with her new office mate. They had only been sharing her office for two weeks and she was already plotting ways to kill the bastard without getting caught.

She had just dismissed the class and was slowly gathering her things when her phone chimed. It was a text from her friend Jane.

_Hey, when you get out of class do you want to come over to Thor's café for cake and coffee? -Jane_

_YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!!!! JANE, YOU ARE A SAINT FROM ON HIGH! I'LL BE OVER IN TWO SHAKES OF A LAMBS TAIL! BLESS YOU!!! -Darcy_

_Lol, okay cool. See you soon! -Jane_

Bless Jane, she had no idea how she was saving her friend from fewer encounters with the self-important art historian. Unfortunately for Jane, she would also play audience to Darcy's ranting about Loki.

"I'm gonna kill him Jane, I swear."

Dr. Jane Foster couldn't help but smile. As much as she sympathized for her friend and her problematic officemate, she found Darcy's exacerbation thoroughly amusing. She merely smiled and nodded for Darcy to continue.

"Do you know what that arrogant prick insists that I call him? Dr. Laufeyson. Not Loki, but Dr. Laufeyson. Even if it's just the two of us in my office it's still the same ol' song and dance.

'Morning, Professor.'

'I think you mean Dr. Laufeyson, Professor Lewis. I have worked diligently for that title.'

'Loki, could I borrow your stapler?'

Nothing.

'Dr. Laufeyson, could I borrow your stapler?' And then he gives it to me without a word like he's trying to condition me!" She exclaimed as she practically slammed her coffee cup on the table.

"How awful, he actually wants you to call him by his correct title." Jane teased.

"I wouldn't have a problem with it if he wasn't such a jerk about it! Besides he calls me 'Miss Lewis' almost as much as I call him 'Professor' or his first name."

"He's probably just returning the favor whilst simultaneously annoying you, and it's clearly working."

"Jane, stop making him sound like an actual human being. I can't go around empathizing with my nemesis."

"Oh come on, he can't be that bad."

"Oh, but he is, my dear Dr. Foster. Do you know what happened last week? Another one of his students came in to ask him for extra credit in the tightest dress I've ever seen. It was a cute dress to be sure, but her boobs looked like compressed melons. It's a miracle they didn't pop out when she tried to shove them in his face. And what did Laufeyson do? He smirked at her after he totally checked her out and said, 'I think something can be arranged.' And I'm sitting there thinking, 'Well girls, congratulations on your conquest, but keep it out of the office.' It's bad enough when one of my students comes in and tries to hit on me, but now I have to deal with this asshole and his army of mammary compressors! Jokes on him though because I refuse to crack!" She exclaimed, pumping her fist.

This little display brought the attention of one Thor Odinson, hospitality professor extraordinaire and Jane's boyfriend. "Is everything alright, ladies?" The beautiful, blond hulk of luscious muscle enquired.

Jane beamed at her boyfriend. "Yes, everything's-"

"The apple crumble's a bit dry," Darcy quipped.

Thor looked to her in shock. "It is?!?"

Darcy saw where this was going and tried to back track. "Actually, I was just jok--"

"VOLSTAGG!" Thor boomed making the other patrons in the cafe jump in their seats. A portly man swiftly exited the kitchen sprinting over to Thor. The man looked positively frightened.

"Y-Yes, Professor Odinson?"

"Volstagg, what is the first rule of hospitality?" Thor asked gravely.

"Um, well it's that the customer is always--"

"WRONG!" He announced. "Rule number one of hospitality: GIVE THEM THE PICKLE!"

Darcy just about spewed her coffee while Jane facepalmed, shaking her head.

"So that's what the kids are calling it now, huh?" Darcy asked, looking at Jane and winking. Jane just blushed and avoided eye contact.

"No, no, Darcy. 'Give them the pickle' means to give the customer 120 percent. Go the extra mile for the customer." Thor stated proudly. "Remember that, Volstagg. You must always give them the pickle. Now, get these ladies apple crumble that is not so dry."

"Actually count me out. I've got to head back and grade papers." Darcy said as she got up to leave. "Thanks for listening to me rant, Jane. Have fun with your boyfriend, and Thor, try not to give her too much of the pickle tonight." She teased as she patted him on the back. Thor just smiled, not getting the joke while Jane blushed madly and facepalmed again. She really should have seen that coming.

As she made her way back to her office, Darcy felt the dread creeping in. She didn't want to deal with Loki or any of his bullshit. Once outside her office door, the poli sci professor took a deep breath and walked in.

While Darcy was expecting to see Loki, she wasn't expecting to catch him blaring music from his laptop while he typed furiously. It wasn't so much that he had music blasting, although this was a first, it was his music selection that surprised her more. Of all the music out there, Darcy wouldn't have guessed "Poison" by The Prodigy. She had Loki down as a classical music kind of guy, but when she thought about it The Prodigy did seem like the type of band that would appeal to him.

As this thought crossed her mind, Loki paused and turned, and practically flew out of his seat when he saw Darcy. "Miss Lewis, I'm so sorry," he said before pausing the music and pitching the office into silence. _Did he just apologize? Like for real apologize and not sarcastically? Well that's a first._

She shrugged and smiled. "Don't worry about it. I would have been doing the exact same thing if I had the office to myself. Although, I would be blasting something a bit more entertaining than The Prodigy," she teased.

Loki actually gaped at her for a millisecond before his eyes narrowed. "How dare you! "Poison" is a great song and Music for the Jilted Generation is a magnificent piece of music. That album got me through all of my exams from secondary school to my postgraduate work. Not to mention, it drove Thor positively mad when I played it on loop to the point where he would leave the room to go bake puddings." He finished, a nostalgic look in his eye.

Darcy was rather surprised that he was being so open until she remembered something. "Wait, did you say Thor?"

"Yes, Thor Odinson and I were flatmates during my first year at uni."

"As in hospitality professor Thor/Jane's boytoy?"

"Do you know many people named Thor, Miss Lewis?"

"Wow, that must've been hilarious."

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. "The only things keeping me sane during that year were The Prodigy and that man child's puddings. It was a miracle I stayed fit."

Darcy couldn't help but try to subtly check him out after that comment. When she looked at his face again he was studying her intently, making her blush. They continued regarding one another silently until there was a knock at the door. Darcy started and Loki glared in the direction of the unknown visitor, then he groaned in annoyance. "One of my students. I allowed her to come in for a make-up exam," he explained, gritting his teeth.

Darcy was still reeling from their silent exchange. "Uh, right. I'll just work on some papers or something. Don't mind me."

"That will be next to impossible, Miss Lewis," he said, giving her a small, but kind smile. Darcy had to pause for a moment. _Did he just compliment me and smile? What is going on?!?_ But her thoughts were interrupted by another knock at the door.

She walked back to her desk and started grading papers, trying to drown everything out. But it was not to be when one of Loki's mammary compressors pranced in.

"Hello, Dr. Laufeyson, I'm here for my make-up exam!" She announced chirpily. Darcy couldn't help but roll her eyes. _Suck up._

"Of course, Vanessa. Please come in," he said coolly. Vanessa giggled-- _Really? giggling?_ \-- and strode in.

"Oh, hello, Miss Lewis." Came Vanessa's unenthusiastic greeting. Darcy was about to respond, but she was swiftly cut off.

"I believe you meant 'Professor Lewis', Miss Smith." He said sharply. Both women were shocked by this, the student clearly not expecting such a reprimand, and the professor not expecting Loki to come to her aid. Especially when he always called her "Miss Lewis."

Vanessa quickly backtracked. "Whoops, sorry, Mis--Professor Lewis."

Darcy just rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about it," she said and turned back to her papers.

Loki situated a space for Vanessa, gave her directions, told her how much time she had, and went back to his desk.

All was quiet in the office, or at least it was until Vanessa gave an exasperated huff. Neither professor looked up from their work. A minute later there was another huff, this time louder. Darcy glanced up to see Loki looking rather annoyed. She quickly looked down, trying not to laugh.

About two minutes passed before there was another ridiculous huff. Darcy's eyes flitted towards Loki. When they made eye contact, she gave a small sympathetic smile, while Loki looked positively murderous. He closed his eyes, took a deep, calming breath, and slowly let it out. Right afterwards, Vanessa gave another huff.

Loki's eyes shot open and he slammed his fists on his desk, startling both women. He turned to the student. "Miss Smith, would it trouble you to refrain from huffing in exasperation every single minute due to your obvious lack of preparation for this exam?" He questioned icily.

Vanessa was clearly scared. "Um, n-no, Dr. Laufeyson."

"Then please continue your exam, in silence," he emphasized. She nodded and quickly turned back to her paper.

Darcy kept her head down for about a minute and then looked up. Loki was pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to take deep breaths. Darcy didn't know what came over her, but she reached for his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Loki looked at her in surprise, but made no move to pull his hand away. She smiled at him, hopefully conveying good feelings. He studied her again, and gave a gentle squeeze back. However, they pulled apart when they heard Vanessa shuffling her papers.

She handed in her test whilst desperately trying to get back in his good graces by showing off her cleavage, but Loki wasn't having it and swiftly dismissed her. With one final huff she stomped out.

Silence fell over the room once more. Loki was openly checking out Darcy now, causing her to blush once again. He was just about to say something when there was another knock at the door. Loki gritted his teeth while Darcy sighed.

The door opened and one of Darcy's moronic students who always tried to hit on her to get a better grade waltzed in.

"Uh, Professor Lewis, I needed to come talk to you about a quiz I missed."

"Sure, Parker, do you have a documented reason for being absent?"

"…Not exactly, no."

Darcy gave a sympathetic shrug. "Then there's not much I can do."

"Are you sure there's not some other way I can persuade you, Professor?"

Darcy quirked an eyebrow. "I'm positively certain there's nothing beyond a documented excuse that could persuade me." Why is Loki giving his stapler the death grip?

"Look, Professor Lewis," Parker said in what he probably thought was a sultry voice. "Maybe I could take you out," _Wow, is this seriously happening to me right now?_ _Wait, did Loki break that pencil with his thumb?_ "Show you a good time--" _Sweet Christ, kill me now. Why is Loki standing behind him?_ "And then we could go back to my place and--"

"Boy." Came a low, feral growl. Parker nearly leapt out of his skin as he wheeled around to face the professor towering over him and giving him the most disturbing death glare Darcy had ever seen. "Have you grown hard of hearing? Professor Lewis has made it perfectly clear that if you do not have a valid excuse then she cannot help you. What do you not understand?"

"N-nothing, sir."

"Then why don't you remove yourself from this office before you do something else that you may truly regret," he said calmly, yet in a way that would make a man's balls recede.

The boy gave a quick nod and bolted out of the office. Loki watched him flee.

"I could've handled that, ya know."

Loki said nothing as he stared at her. She was just about to speak when he swiftly, albeit gently, grabbed her shoulders and pulled her out of her chair. He looked her square in the eye. "Professor Lewis, I would like to kiss you now. Would you be opposed to that?" Darcy shook her head no and then he leant down and kissed her.

It was in this moment that Darcy realized certain things about Loki. One, he may be an arrogant douche, but sweet Christ could he kiss. Two, he liked using tongue and fuck was he good at it. Three, judging by the hardness of his body as he pressed himself against Darcy, he was definitely in shape. And four, he was clearly well-endowed.

All of these things swept through her mind as they made out. She finally broke the kiss, pushing Loki onto her desk. He was smirking at her as he laid himself out, but when she started rubbing his erection his head fell back as he groaned. After another minute of teasing caresses Darcy stopped, much to Loki's chagrin. "Tease." But Darcy didn't respond as she shuffled through a desk drawer until she grinned triumphantly and brandished a condom.

"How long have you been waiting to use that, Professor?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Don't flatter yourself, I sponsor the biology club. Every semester for community service we go to high schools in the area for sex ed talks, and we always have a surplus of condoms and bananas afterwards. And the names Darcy, Doc," she said as she impaled herself on his cock.

For the next few hours, the only sounds that emanated from the office were the moans of the new lovers, the slap of skin as they made love, the constant creaking of the desk, and the occasional peels of laughter and giggles. Thank goodness Loki remembered to lock the door.

Later, the two professors were sprawled out on Darcy's desk, just enjoying each other's presence after the countless rounds of fun sexy times. Darcy was grinning like mad, while Loki held her close to his chest, running his fingers through her hair. He was staring at the ceiling, trying to wrap his mind around how Darcy could be so limber. _This will have to be another subject to discuss at dinner tonight. Speaking of which…_

Loki cleared his throat before speaking. "Darcy, would you like to have dinner with me tonight? I know of a place that serves an excellent coq au vin. Perhaps you could come back to my place afterwards. I can assure you, my bed is much more comfortable than this desk."

Darcy rested her chin on his chest. "You know, after watching a student hit on you, then have one hit on me all on the same day, you'd think I'd be sick of propositions, but for you, I'll gladly make an exception." She said, as she kissed him deeply. _Two more years of sharing my office with this sexy dick waffle. God help me._

After they finally dragged themselves off the desk and out of each others arms so they could get dressed and leave, Darcy saw a folded piece of paper near the door. She picked it up and unfolded it to see what it said. As she read the note, she could feel herself blushing all over. The note read as such:

C _ame by to check on you, but you were clearly preoccupied. I'll call you later for details. Try not to let your nemesis give you too much of the pickle tonight. ;) -Jane_

 _Fuck I'll never hear the end of this._ But as Darcy watched Loki gather his belongings and got a nice look at his glorious ass, the thought of Jane teasing her relentlessly didn't bother her nearly as much. And with the thought of getting to see him naked again, Darcy followed her nemesis/lover out of the office, admiring his fine ass the entire time. _My hands on that ass will be the start of a beautiful relationship indeed._


End file.
